Pre-Commitment & Premarital Counseling | Boston, MA
Build a lasting foundation for your future together.
Before saying "I do," many couples discover that love needs a little support. Whether you're newly engaged, moving in together, or exploring other big changes, pre-commitment or premarital therapy helps you align emotionally, practically, and relationally.
Is premarital therapy right for you?
Even the strongest relationships can benefit from structure and tools before making a big commitment. If you've ever thought...
"We love each other, but argue over little things."
You want to make sure small conflicts don't become big patterns.
"I want to make sure we're aligned on kids, finances, or roles."
The big decisions feel overwhelming, and you're not sure you're on the same page.
"I want to know we're truly ready."
You're not having cold feet–you just want to go into this next step with your eyes open.
"I've seen marriages fail, and I want to do things differently."
You're being intentional about building something that lasts.
"We struggle to resolve conflict without shutting down."
One of you pursues, the other withdraws–and nothing ever seems to get resolved.
"We're great together, but our families cause tension."
Navigating boundaries with in-laws or family expectations is complicated and you want some extra support.
If any of this resonates, premarital counseling can help. Commitment isn't just about love–it's about learning to navigate life as a team.
What we'll work on together
My sessions are structured around Emotionally Focused Therapy, designed to help you prepare not just for a wedding or specific milestone–but for building a life together.
Topics we typically explore:
Core emotional needs and attachment styles. How you each give and receive love, and what happens when those needs aren't met.
Conflict resolution and communication habits. Not just "how to fight fair"–but how to repair when things go wrong.
Family-of-origin beliefs and expectations. The unspoken rules you each learned about relationships, money, roles, and conflict.
Boundaries with families, friends, and work. How to protect your relationship while staying connected to the people who matter.
Sex, intimacy, and affection languages. What closeness looks like for each of you, and how to stay connected physically and emotionally.
Finances, roles, and household responsibilities. Who does what, how you handle money, and what "fair" actually means to both of you.
Children, parenting expectations, and future planning. Do you want kids? When? How many? What kind of parents do you want to be?
Fears, vulnerabilities, and what each partner needs to feel safe. The stuff you might not have talked about yet, but need to.
Why Premarital Counseling matters
Pre-commitment or premarital counseling is about building emotional resilience and clarity before you take the next step.
You'll leave with:
A deeper understanding of each other's values and needs
Conflict tools you can use for decades
A shared language for vulnerability and emotional safety
Fewer surprises down the road
A stronger sense of unity, no matter what challenges arise
We don't wait for the car to break down to change the oil. Think of this as relationship maintenance–before you need it.
Why Work With Me
I've been doing this work for over 20 years, and I'm a Certified EFT Therapist and Supervisor, which means I don't just practice Emotionally Focused Therapy, I train other therapists in it.
But here's what might matter more:
We go deeper than surface-level prep. This isn't about checking boxes or getting through a required curriculum. We focus on the emotional foundations that will carry you through the hard parts of marriage, not just the ceremony.
I've navigated my own relationship challenges. I understand what it's like to feel stuck, and I bring that empathy to every session.
I offer both in-person and online sessions for Boston-based couples. Flexibility matters, especially if you're planning a wedding and juggling a million things.
Online Premarital Counseling
I offer secure, HIPAA-compliant online pre-commitment counseling throughout Massachusetts. You'll get structured, compassionate guidance from the comfort of your home.
Online counseling is perfect for:
Couples with busy or irregular schedules
Those who prefer privacy and flexibility
Anyone in Massachusetts who wants to work with an experienced EFT therapist
Kind words from clients
"It struck me that I would marry my wife all over again. I suppose that is what makes a marriage–choosing each other again and again. We continue to negotiate differences and misunderstandings, and those negotiations are less fraught now. We simply trust more and tell each other what's going on inside ourselves. We wouldn't be in the good place we are without having worked with Paula. Thanks for teaching us how to keep close to each other."
–P.E.
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What to expect from premarital therapy
01
Free consultation (15 minutes) We'll talk by phone about where you are in your relationship, your goals, and whether we're a good fit. No pressure–just a conversation.
02
First session We'll explore what brought you to therapy, what your hopes are for your relationship, and start identifying any patterns or concerns you want to address before taking the next step.
03
Ongoing sessions Most couples meet weekly or every other week for 6-10 sessions. We'll work through the topics that matter most to you–conflict, communication, family dynamics, future planning, or whatever needs attention.
04
Between sessions I may suggest conversations or reflections to try at home, but only if they feel genuinely helpful. The real work happens in our sessions together.
Serving couples across Massachusetts
I work with couples throughout Massachusetts, including Boston, Cambridge, Somerville, Brookline, Newton, and beyond. I’m licensed for all of Massachusetts and sessions are online, so you can work with me anywhere in the state of MA.
Ready to build a partnership that lasts?
Whether you're planning a wedding or simply planning your future together, pre-commitment counseling is a gift to your relationship.
Step 1: Book a free consultation and tell me a bit about where you are
Step 2: We'll talk briefly to see if we're a good fit
Step 3: Begin strengthening your foundation together
Questions About Premarital Therapy
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Not at all. My approach is secular and based on Emotionally Focused Therapy. We focus on emotional connection, communication, and building a strong foundation–not on any particular religious framework.
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Most couples do 6-10 sessions, but it depends on what you want to work on. Some couples come for a few sessions to address specific concerns. Others stay longer to go deeper.
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No. I work with couples who are dating seriously, engaged, newly married, or just exploring the idea of deeper commitment. If you're thinking about a future together, we can work together.
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I don't accept insurance directly, but I'm considered an out-of-network provider. Some insurance plans will reimburse you for part of the cost. I can provide you with a superbill to submit.
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Yes. All my sessions are available online via secure video throughout Massachusetts.
Note: I’m also licensed in the state of North Carolina and I offer this service for residents of this state too!
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No. I'm licensed in Massachusetts and North Carolina and work with couples throughout both states via online sessions. You can be anywhere in MA or NC.
Have other questions?